Monthly Archives: September 2017


Full name – Isabel.

Age – Unknown. But you humans would class me as OLD!

My Role at Lancombe – Queen of Fairies/Entertainments

Background – Myself and my Fairies migrated to Lancombe in Spring 2014. I heard through the Fairy Post that there was an opening in some woods, with lots of trees to make houses in. We weren’t very satisfied with the accommodation we were staying in, so decided to make a move. Since then, we have built larger houses and a very happy Fairy Village. We have also adopted Marvin the friendly Hobbit in this time and Elvis the Elf. They generally mix well with the fairies, so much so, Marvin arranged for his playboy Mansion to be built when he decided to be a permanent resident in our Fairy Colony, we can’t get the fairies out of there at times!

This is me on my favourite sign watching over the woods!

Why were you the best candidate for the role? – The fairies could not have moved without me. As the Queen of the woods, I am responsible for their welfare, training and social care. It’s a big responsibility as there are hundreds of fairies here. I was officially crowned Queen in June 2014. It went to a public fairy vote, and I was considered the best candidate for the role.

I have superb letter writing skills, and as well as looking after the fairies, I make sure every letter that is left in our post box is responded to in a timely manner. I have service level agreements with the owners and if these are breached I will receive a verbal warning and then be taken through retraining before any disciplinary action is started. At the end of the day, nobody wants children going without their fairy letters.
I am an excellent trainer. Each new baby fairy receives flying lessons, this helps them with understanding their Sky Flying Code and also to ensure they are able to avert danger wherever possible.

Interests – Being the best fairy colony we can be. We love living in Lancombe’s woods and do not want to jeopardize this. I particularly love seeing children in our woods, reading their letters and writing replies. It’s wonderful when they find their letters and seeing the excitement on their faces is a pleasure. I attend National Fairy Meetings on a quarterly basis, and we have been top of the country for the last 3 years. That’s a massive achievement, I’m very proud of my fairies. My greatest hobby is making fairy dust, and we do like a good fairies wings up, where we all get together, eat Leaf Stew, Berry Con Carne and magic the night away.

Aspirations for the future – To continue to be Queen of these woods. I’m hoping there won’t be a Coup anytime soon and I lose my crown, so I have to keep thinking of new and innovative ways to keep the fairies happy. That’s why I allowed a Hobbit and an Elf into our colony. I am currently lobbying for our own pool and gymnasium, so please keep your fingers crossed for us.


My house!

Protected by Magic & with Fairy Love


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Full name – I’m Barbie Q the Brahma.

Age – I think I’m about 4. I have just realized nobody has celebrated my Birthday!

My Role at Lancombe – Food Production Specialist/Entertainments

Background – I was born with a lot of other Chickens in Maiden Newton Village. I have been a member of the Lancombe Team since February 2014, when I relocated with other members of the original Lancombe Hen Party. I am the highest in the Hen Hierarchy, this is partly due to my size, but also because we have a history of being bullied by other Hens because they think we look like we’re stuck in the 70’s with our feathery flares, so we’re born thick-shelled.

This is me having a party with my Co-Hens. Bottoms up!

Why were you the best candidate for the role? – I am a fierce layer, and frankly I’m proud of both my laying productivity and the quality of my eggs. We are quite sociable and like it when children come to visit us, largely because we get extra helpings of food, but also, we are proud of what we deliver at Lancombe. As we live here for free with a housekeeping service, we’re happy to contribute to our housing and food.

I’m a fast runner! As Hens, we know every day is a lottery because it could be our last. There are so many dangers out there, that’s why we were happy to move to Lancombe, because we have Alpacas as neighbours which downgrades our risk of harm from critical to severe. Unfortunately, this is balanced by the fact we tend to roam in the woods…badgers build sets there and they are cunning too. We’re not scared of Dogs, if you’ve ever looked a Fox or a Badger in the eye, a cuddly Dog means nothing!

We’ve recently had some new friends move in, there are a couple that are small and odd looking too (some may say ‘cute’) and they gossip all the time, but we’ll soon peck that out of them. It’s a small, close knit Hen Hostel, and we don’t like everybody knowing our business. We had to have new friends because there’s been a high attrition rate lately, you see our Bosses rescued a lot of Hens from somewhere called a Battery, which sounds nasty. They were old, and even though I don’t know my birthday, you could tell they’d had the yolk knocked out of them. We’ll soon teach the newbies our pecking order, and hopefully they’ll pull their weight.

Interests – Staying alive! We have production targets, I tend to exceed these, but you can never be complacent. The best layer gets the best place in the shed at night because you gain a level of respect. Whilst we don’t always look it, we do love having children collect our eggs, there’s a certain amount of pride and satisfaction from making children smile, and otherwise, we don’t really get to see the output of our work.

Aspirations for the future – Staying alive! I’d ideally like to see next year, I love it at Lancombe and I know wonderful things are planned, so I want to live to see these materialize. I know if I was a Turkey, that wouldn’t happen! I want to continue to meet my targets and make children happy, I never realized I liked them so much, considering it seems with the lack of males here, I’ll never have any of my own!!

Hope to see you soon!

Love Barbie Q

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Age – I’m seven now, but I was 3 years old when we moved to Lancombe. I am one of the original Lancombe Five.

My Role at Lancombe – Maintenance Supervisor/Entertainments

Background – I was born in a Rescue Centre in Southampton. Originally my name was Terence, because all my siblings’ names began with ‘T’, but that changed pretty quickly. I used to be very lively, but now like to take things a bit slower, as I feel that this move was more semi-retirement for me and when I can, I try to be retired as much as possible.

This is me on the right on a trip to Cerne Abbas with my best mate Fleur.

Why were you the best candidate for the role? – To be honest, my Dad chose me. Although I’ve been asked to stress our values at Lancombe do not include nepotism. I shadow my Dad, and supervise his every move. Sometimes, he ‘forgets’ I’m supposed to be checking what he’s doing and just wanders off and leaves me behind when I’m not looking. It’s hard being a Supervisor sometimes, it can make you unpopular when you point things out, it’s even harder when it’s working with family. I often get shouted at for barking at the Strimmer when Dad’s using it, but I am only reiterating the Health & Safety procedures because those things can be nasty if not used properly.

As well as Supervising Maintenance, I like to keep my paw in the Entertainments arena. This is largely as a double act with my best friend Fleur, but I can hold my own too. I am often used to entertain the human children with collecting eggs in my mouth and delivering them at my Dad’s feet undamaged. I have had to carry Fleur a bit on the entertainment front lately as she has been on sick leave. She’s usually a bit more enthusiastic than me (well a lot actually), and tends to be used to walk the human children and make them laugh. Her mum says she has no loyalty because she will love anyone, which is true, but I admit it comes in useful.

Interests – Being with my Dad, making my Dad happy, eating (when I’m with my Dad), playing with Fleur (even better when it’s with my Dad), having my tummy stroked (especially if it’s by my Dad).
Aspirations for the future – I’d ideally like to be retired this time next year, but only if my Dad does too, otherwise, I’ll just have to work as long as he does.

This is me (under Fleur) showing her how to relax!

Hope to see you soon!

Love Barnaby

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My Role at Lancombe – Apprentice Hunter/Companion

Age – I am one of three kittens that were born exactly 8 weeks ago to the day.  This was me when I had just arrived at Lancombe.

Background – Today is poignant for me, as I have just said goodbye to my 2 siblings, 4 & 5. They are now with a lovely family who I’m sure will give them a proper name.  They will shortly be out patrolling the streets in Southampton. We were born at Lancombe Country Cottages & Lodges in Dorset, and I am pleased to be staying and doing something rewarding, everybody seems really happy here.

My Mum and her Sister (1 & 2) are the original Team Members of the Pest Control Unit at Lancombe. They arrived here over a year ago, and I have heard they have done an excellent job in looking after the chicken’s food, the accommodation and entertaining Lancombe’s guests.  In case you haven’t met them, here’s my Mum and my Auntie (Mum’s on the left).Why were you the best candidate for the role? – As they say, no man is an island, and although Team Members 1 (my Mum) & 2 (my Auntie) hate to admit it, sometimes no woman is either. This is where I come in! I am part of Lancombe’s Succession Planning Strategy, so if anything happens to my Mum or Auntie I can step up. It has nothing to do with the fact Caroline fell in love with me, it is purely professional.

My mum will soon be back roaming the grounds after her maternity leave and is really looking forward to getting out and meeting people again. I will be getting used to being without my siblings and will be undertaking a one-week intensive training programme before starting my apprenticeship. My qualities are that I’m laid back, I like a cuddle and I work well under pressure.

Interests – My interests are playing, being stroked, being fed, sleeping, being fed, exploring and learning new things.

Aspirations for the future – I hope that Lancombe’s guests will like me as much as they do my mum and auntie and although nervous, I look forward to seeing you soon and getting stuck in.

Love Team Member 3.  This is me now.


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